Update at the ranch

Hey ya'll, sorry I've been a little incognito lately...its been a little nuts around here. Riley is still amazingly doing wonderful, thanks for all the prayers for the little stinker, typical boy....just likes to give his mama a scare. Sorry I've missed Life group and Sunday nights. Things have just been a little hectic. Dogs, dad, time at the real ranch, work, refinancing the house, making arrangements to get the truck fixed and trying to get stuff together to fix the roof...just haven't been able to squeeze it all in. Things should hopefully calm down in the next week or so and life can get back to "normal" (whatever that really means).

This might sound a little weird, but things are going really and truly incredibly good right now and that just scares the tar out of me. I'm so used to the bad that when its good I'm always waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. Trying really hard right now to just trust God. Trust is really a 5 letter word for me, didn't learn how to do it growing up so its really hard now. Doing my best to just accept the fact that God is in control and I just have to do my best to live in Him but every once in a while, the fear rears its ugly head. Is God playing with me, getting my hopes up or setting me up to fall really hard? I know that isn't truth but my head doesn't always see the truth. Ok, this necessity to be so transparent is really freaking me out. Bear with me, I'm still trying to find myself....have you seen me lately?? LOL!!!!

My boys are coming for a visit this week, Chiefers and Jericho get to come spend Thanksgiving with Aunt Robbi and cousins Riley, Shadow and Bear. Woohoo....fur will be flying everywhere. Thats an ok thing here at the ranch by the way...it all sweeps up eventually! Now, the only issue is going to be, where is Aunt Robbi gonna sleep...have you ever tried to share a bed with 5 dogs, especially when 2 of them are already over 100 lbs each and the other 3 combined make another 100 lbs. maybe I'll just grab a blanket and hit the floor!!

Oh, news flash...I"m thinking about going back to school again. I know I know, I just got done, but I'm really thinking about going for the Associates in the Veterinary Technician program. Another 2 years, but this time I'd actually have a degree instead of just a certificate. Thoughts, opinions, suggestions.............

God is Good

well, amazingly my little dog must be part cat because it appears that he has 9 lives. Riley woke up this morning and bounced out of the bed on his own, trotted outside, did his morning ritual and bounced, yes, bounced, skipped, jumped, whatever you want to call it, up the back stairs and into the kitchen where he proceeded to eat half of my breakfast. he's back to his perky 15 year old self and I only have God to thank. I went to bed last night pretty sure that I would have to put my boy down today and God heard my cry and restored my little old man. Thank You Jesus!!

Sadness at the Ranch

This past two weeks have been somewhat bittersweet. Got a new truck, finished school, hit deer with new truck, house appraisal in hopes that refinance goes thru and now, today, a great sadness has descended upon the ranch. My BFF in the whole wide world seems to be on his last legs or paws. Riley, dear sweet lovable Riley, turned 15 years old on 11/8. This morning we went thru our usual routine, alarm goes off and 3 pups head for the back door for their morning potty break. They usually stay out while I shower, breakfast and get everything ready to head for work. I went to let them back in this morning, Riley was sitting on my tractor, as usual. The last couple months he has had problems getting off the tractor, I think because his vision is failing. This morning was no surprise, he was up and couldn't get down. I picked him up and set him down on the ground and he proceeded to collapse in front of me. He had no control of his rear extremities and couldn't stand up. I picked him up and carried him inside. He was shaking so hard, like he just couldn't get warm. I put him in bed and covered him with 2 blankets and he was still shaking. He always follows me to the front door when I leave but this morning, he didn't even lift his head when I said goodbye. I just wanted to cry and I wanted to stay home, but I had to go to work.

When I got home this evening, Riley was still in the bed. He had moved, he had himself propped up against the window. He drug himself to the edge of the bed and tried to hop down but couldn't. I picked him up and put him back in the center of the bed and covered him back up with his blanket and layed down with him. As the evening went on, he became a little more mobile and actually ate his dinner. I"d like to get my hopes up, but not sure its a good idea. He still drags his rear legs and he can't hold his balance. He's still shaking like he can't get warm.

I'm in a position now where I have to decide the fate of my best friend. How do I make the decision of whether my best friend gets to continue living or if he should die? I've had to make this decision before and you would think it would get easier each time you have to do it, but it doesn't. Each one of these special friends that God gives us is so uniquely different, personality, little quirks, vocalizations, the way they snuggle or play. How do I give up my best friend of 15 years? How do I go on without him? Do I wait it out and see if he gets better or do I just end it now and hope its the right decision? I can't stand to see him suffer and I won't let him. Thankfully he doesn't appear to be in any pain. All he wants to do is be near me and comfort me. Why are our dogs granted so few years to share our lives? Why can't he be with me for another 15 years?

After watching him all evening, I'm beginning to think that he may have had a stroke and that is what is causing the paralysis that comes and goes. I don't know how to say goodbye to this one, he is like so many of my other dogs but yet he is so totally different. He has compassion and intellect and a sense of humor....man he really loves to play jokes and horse around...when I was part of the clown troop at Stones, Riles was right there with me in his little tuxedo and top hat, loving every minute of it. He's never met a stranger and if he didn't like somebody, by golly, I knew to stay away from them because he generally loved everybody he met.

I don't know whats gonna happen tomorrow, maybe God will choose to heal whatever this affliction is or perhaps He will just let him slip into slumber and chase those dadburn rabbits he was never able to catch or a decision may have to be made depending on his condition when we wake up. Whatever happens, please be praying for Riley and me...because right now I don't know what I"m going to do without him.

I DID IT!!!!!!!!

I DID IT!!!! Can you believe it, I'm done. I am now officially a Certified Veterinary Assistant. In 2-3 weeks I"ll have my official certificate. Woohoo!!!!!!! Party, Celebrate!!! I"m done, I'm done.....can you tell I'm a little excited?? I can't believe it. Two years of work and its finally done. Where'd the time go? Don't know? What am I gonna do now? Don't know. Waiting on God now to tell me what to do and where...so for now I"m still selling football helmets, but who knows what the future has in store? Only God!!! I actually finally finished something. Yay me!!! sorry if that sounds a little conceited, not meant in that tone..its just I"m great out of the gate but sometimes a little lacking in stamina and I"m just so excited that I finally did it. YAY GOD, YAY ME!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!

On a side note, talking to the bank on Friday about refinancing the house so any and all prayer would be most kindly appreciated!!!!

Goodbye Blue

Greetings and welcome to the edge of controlled chaos (well, it sounded good in my head). anyhoo, countdown continues, 3 more tests and I am an official Certified Veterinarian Assistant, ooohh, now besides having CSR after my name, I can add CVA. But do having a bunch of initials after your name really make you important, na. Looks good though.

Said goodbye to a dear old friend this week. Put Blue out to pasture (for those of you wondering who the heck is Blue...she was my beloved little truck that always wanted to grow into a big truck someday). Well, Blue got old and tired and well, what do you do with the "old folks" in your life...put em in a home, junk em out, sell em or as we say here at the ranch...."trade em"!!! Thats right folks, you ain't gonna see me and ole Blue on the road anymore. Welcome the Titan to the ranch!! Me and the pups are now the proud owners of a 2007 Ford F150 Super Cab!! Giddyup!! Thanks to Mr Mic for finding her for me!!! I feel like a grown up now, I got a mortgage and a truck payment. Woohoo!! Blue finally grew up into a real truck and dyed her hair, lol!!!!

BRAVEHEART PICTURES

hey all, scroll all the way to the bottom of my page.....got some pictures from Braveheart, not too many action shots but you can see a lot of my "girls", our furry therapists and also a shot of our youngest rider who is only 2 1/2 and has only been riding with us for 4 weeks.

The Countdown Has Begun

so, you ever start a project and think you are just never gonna get it done.....yeah, I got a bunch of those right now. just look at my house!! anyhoo, January of 2007 I started out on an adventure called Veternarian Assistant School. in looking at everything that has happened in my life since then, it really feels like a century ago, but hey, its only been a little over a year and a half. well, here's the kicker, I gotta be done with all my classes by Nov 7. 13 short days from now, I will be done (barring any late shipments of course work of course). wow, where did the time go. 2 weeks and I've finally finished something I started. I know that might sound a little weird to say, but I've always been great out of the gate but worn out by the backstretch so never quite made it to the finish line. so, this may not seem big to most other people, but this is nowhere short of a miraculous new beginning for me. still can't believe its almost over. now, where I'm going with it or what I"m doing with it only God knows that one. But at least I'm gonna finish with my "A" intact!! :o). so, if ya don't see me in my usual places during the week, don't worry, haven't backslidden or fallen off the face of the earth.....just got my face buried in a book!, that is, if the post office delivers the rest of my books today....can't study without the books.

Pups are good, noisy and messy as ever. However, they've all joined me back in the bed so its nice and toasty during nappy time!!..this is really weird, but I never get cold. I live for this time of year, t shirts and shorts while I laugh at everybody else thats freezing. Well, guess who ain't laughing anymore. For the first time that I can remember, I am freezing my tushy off!! Don't like it, can't seem to wear enough clothes to stay warm. How did that happen? I apologize to anyone I have ever laughed at for being cold (Amy, that would be you dear) I get it now and I'm not liking it. Hey Mic, I might need to borrow Chief for the winter.....need a new winter coat!! LOL!!

Ramblings from the Ranch

Howdy Pardners
Been a tough week at the ranch. Chief said goodbye (or woof for you canine followers) and went home to his daddy. Kinda quiet around here now except for the usual sounds of my 3 stooges. Miss our morning snuggle time...however, Riley and Shadow are making up for that by joining Bear and I in the bed first thing in the morning. Ok, mental picture alert...picture me, 1 130lb dog, 1 30lb dog and 1 25 lb dog all in a double bed....ain't a whole lotta room and momma's usually the one pushed to the floor. But, if you've never experienced a "dogpile" you just ain't experienced life. Just something about the 3 of them and me all in a pile, wrestling and snarling and woofing....makes for a good morning. Sorry you missed it Chiefers.......you'll have to come visit again.

Life at the horse farm was a little rough this past weekend. Mares can get a little moody, especially if they are in heat. Ouch! Got myself horsebit 3 times this past weekend. Once in the shoulder and twice in the gut. Don't recommend it, hurts just a wee tad bit, but hey, as long as there ain't no blood.....The first bite in the morning really surprised me. Penny is one of the sweetest natured pony's I"ve ever met. Now pony's can generally be moody, especially if they are around full size horses...its kinda like they've got a chip on their shoulders and something to prove because they are the shortest ones in the pasture (hmmm...sounds a little like your's truly at times..go figure). Anyhoo, Miss Penny just wasn't herself Saturday, making all kinds of weird moans and whinnies and out of the blue she took a swing at me. Missed me, phew, that could've hurt. But then I let me guard down and bam, right in the shoulder, got me right between her huge front teeth. Didn't tear my shirt and no blood so no big deal, right? Wrong...little while later in the morning she took another swing at me and barely nipped me in the gut. Again, no torn clothes and no blood. I can do this, no problem. Most of the rest of the day was uneventful. Several lessons didn't show so we had some time on our hands to talk and get to know each other. Afternoon lessons usually involve our 2 most difficult ponies, Peaches and April. Hopefully soon, I"ll have some pictures of the "girls" to post. Anyway, Peaches is built like a mac truck and has to be the most beautiful golden pony I've ever seen. Looks can be deceiving though, when she's in the pasture or just hangin out, she's wonderful. When there is a rider on her back, look out, she will take you in a heartbeat. I love Peaches and haven't had any issues with her...yet. Saturday I got to work with April. First time with this one, she's old and grumpy and her personality is way worse than Peaches reputation. I groomed her and fed her no problems whatsoever. Got a rider on her back and she changed. No sooner had we started when she started swinging out to bite me. Missed me three or four times and I got a tighter grip on her halter. The Director was giving instruction to the rider and we were coming towards her, I shifted my attention for one second and wham, she got me...right in the stomach. I thought the director was going to have heart failure. Are you ok, are you bleeding....she made such a huge deal out of it. Now don't get me wrong, I understand her concern...I just hate having a big deal made out of anything and we had a rider up and I wasn't bleeding, stomach hurt but I think my pride was hurt more than my stomach. I just wanted to finish the lesson. She asked if I wanted her to take over and I told her no. I knew if I gave her the pony, I'd be afraid of her from here on out. I was determined to finish the lesson. Director decided she would take over for a while and I had to fight feeling defeated, like I"d failed somehow because I got bit and the pony was taken away from me. She did finally give her back to me and let me finish the lesson, she still tried to bite me again but I had a good grip on her this time. I succeeded by finishing the lesson. The rider dismounted and I took April back to her pen....she didn't try to bite me once after the rider dismounted, go figure!! Still have a real pretty bruise on my stomach but the bruise on my pride is still a little bigger. Thats ok, I'll redeem myself this weekend back at the ranch!!

For all you students out there, you will appreciate when I say, its "crunch time". I"ve got about 3-4 weeks to go and I will be finished with my veterinarian assistant courses....I can't believe the 2 years is almost up. I"ve got 11 more classes/tests to go and not very much time to do it in. I need focus, concentration, quiet and time to get it all done....just in case anybody feels like praying, that would be awesome.

Well its bedding down time at the ranch, the old man is sprawled in the doorway, Bear just flopped down next to him and the big dog is somewhere in the house....can hear her snoring already.


oh, I guess I should mention that Dad has been sick and apparently has bladder and kidney cancer. they removed the tumor in his bladder this past Friday, not sure what they are doing with the kidney yet.

Pawprints, friendship and rambling

Well, my "kids" are enjoying another house guest this week. well at least I think they are enjoying him. Chief Jenson is staying with us for 2 weeks. I"m enjoying him immensely. I forgot how playful puppies can get when they are around other dogs. Riley is so old and grouchy that he keeps biting the poor boy and making him yelp. Sorry Mick, your pup may be a little scarred up when you get him back! Have you ever wondered what its like to hold a baby polar bear, well, Chief is like that. all white and fluffy and his eyes, omg, he has got the most amazing eyes I've ever seen on a dog. You know you've got a good dog when you can look him in the eyes and see such depth and understanding and feeling. Poor Chief, he wanted to play with Riley last night and Riles had his fill of it and all I heard was a snarl and a yelp. Next thing I know, I've got a giant snowball jumping into my lap and looking at me like, "help me, save me from the old mean doggy". He was just so adorable. I held him until he calmed down. Its such an amazing thing to hold one of God's creations in your hands and watch them relax as you stroke them and talk to them. Bear wants nothing to do with him, he gets within 10 feet of her and she growls. Shadow on the other hand, is actually enjoying his company. She's got someone to wrestle with and boss around. I've actually seen her big booty bouncing across the yard chasing after him. Anybody that can get that big dog to move is a miracle worker!! There's just something about puppies, such a sweet innocence and playfulness. The whole world is a playground for them. Somebody should bottle the smell of puppy breath...I'd buy it in a heartbeat.


I've come to the conclusion that God has a sense of humor, besides the fact that He created me, lol!! Only God could manuever the lives of 3 people that just didn't seem to fit anywhere and grow them into an amazing friendship. We've always been friends, but out of the blue, God has kicked us up a couple notch's. It could only be God that worked this, no other way. When one of us has a bad day, the other 2 pick them up. Whats really amazing is when we have a day like today...all three of us had a totally rocking day, amazing breakthru in issues we've had for sometime. Its great when other people are excited about whats happening in your life. It makes it mean so much more. We don't have to pretend we are something that we aren't, we are accepted for exactly who we are, good and bad. I don't get it, don't know how it happened but I am so grateful for it. Life is hard and when you are alone, it can get pretty crazy. Its nice to know you got somebody watching your back to let you know when you've stepped too far into crazy and can help pull you back.

Got great news from my neurologist today. All my tests came back better than they have ever been. I"m in the best shape I've ever been in 39 1/2 years. WooHoo!!!!! Go God!!

Ok, I've rambled long enough and I"m sure most everybody is asleep......I hear you snoring!!!! Wake up, live life, take a risk....in the end you might find out its worth it!!!!!!

A GLORIOUS DAY

Have you ever had one of those days that was just so amazingly awesome that you really didn't want it to end but daylight and exhaustion force you to stop. Today was that day, actually almost every Saturday is that way for me. I"m a volunteer at Braveheart Therapeutic Riding Center in Pawnee. Its an amazing hidden little place in the back country where cowboys & trick riders are born. Braveheart is run by a single special ed teacher, Ceci Maloney. She loves kids with issues and loves horses so it was only logical to blend the two groups into one. Our smallest rider is 2 years old, can you believe that, he's only 2 years old. Most of the riders are children and young adults. Although we do have one "young" lady in her 50s that takes lessons as well. Some of the riders are developmentally disabled: ADHD, Downs Syndrome, etc. Some of the riders are physically disabled: spina bifida, cp, cancer, brain issues. One little boy, with spina bifida, can't feel his body from the waist down, but HE CAN RIDE A HORSE!!! Its an amazing transformation watching these guys with so much against them, mount a pony and go for a ride. Braveheart, where all riders are equal in the saddle. God is so good!

This past summer I was blessed to become a part of Braveheart thru a friend who had to be a volunteer there for clinicals in her OTA classes. I was just along for the ride, one, since I"ve been a horse freak for as long as I can remember, and, two, because it fit in with my vet assist classes. Starting out I was a side walker. That meant my job was to walk along one side of the pony and support the rider and keep them from falling off. Not being a real people person (don't take that the wrong way, I think I"m a closet people person, just don't know what to do when I'm around them)being a side walker just didn't seem to be my forte'. I was priveleged at that point to be moved to a leader. That meant my job and my focus was 100% on the pony. My job was to keep the pony moving, calm the pony and make sure we didn't run into other ponies and riders. Much better. I could relax, it was just me and the pony now, even though there were technically 3 other people behind me (rider and 2 side walkers). It was only a 6 week course but it was 6 of the best weeks of my life. I told Ceci I would love to come back. She was actually excited about that.

Well, lessons started again 3 weeks ago and this time I make the 45 minute drive by myself (which is a feat all its own since driving terrifies the snot out of me). It feels like home to me when I get there. The smell...have you ever buried your face in the neck of a horse thats been out in the pasture and sun all day...its indescribable. The smells, the sounds, the feel of the horse snuffling down the back of your neck as they nuzzle you. Its amazing to me that these 800-1200lb animals freely give their trust to the person on the other end of the lead rope. I"m a leader now, boy that sounds weird to say. I get there early, help get the horses to the arena, groom and tack up and wait for the students to show up.

My people skills have apparently improved. I'm more relaxed around the students and able to interact more with them. I actually even have a couple of favorites. One little boy, well, actually he's 12, Austin. He's ADHD, a foster kid with some issues. He comes every Saturday dressed up like a cowboy, he and I joke around with each other will we run thru our routines...its so exciting to watch him progress. He finally got to ride with a saddle a couple weeks ago, he was totally stoked about it. (I guess I should tell you that the riders don't start out in a saddle. They start with a back pad and a circingle: a leather girth with a handle on the top). They don't get to move to a saddle or reins until they've learned how to balance on the horse without stirrups. I missed him today, they said he's in the hospital with some emotional issues. Don't know the circumstances but my heart just breaks for him.

Anyway, back to today. Ceci paired me with a rider because she told me that I had a "calming effect" on this particular rider. I'd worked with this rider before but I didn't notice anything between us. The rider gets frustrated easily and gets distracted and panics. I never would have guessed that I would have a calming effect on a person. I can do it with animals, but people...me?? Go figure. I walked a little straighter and taller today because someone had faith in me that I could do what they needed to have done. That is such a strange, amazing, unfamiliar feeling for me. We had a great lesson and from the sounds of it, this rider will probably be permanently assigned to me. Wow. That was only the beginning of goodness today though. Many of the riders no showed today for some reason so we had a lot of spare time on our hands between lessons. Ceci has a 2 year old Haflinger gelding that has just recently been broken to be ridden. Andy isn't used in lessons yet though, he's not ready. This afternoon she had me take him to the arena to train him. Now, you might not get the significance of this without knowing that I have very little experience with horses. I"ve loved horses all my life but never been blessed to own one. I have several horsey friends that let me live vicariously thru them, but I have no where near the experience needed to help train a horse. My assignment was to desensitize him to the equipment we use in the lessons. Wooden bridges, large foam dice, rubber horse shoes, bean bags, bubbles. I felt kinda bad for Andy cause I had to throw foam dice and rubber horse shoes and bean bags at him until he didn't jump anymore. Then I had to rub them all over his body, up and down his legs, down his face, etc. He was so good, he only jumped the first couple of times and then he just took everything in stride, even when one of the other volunteers threw the dice at him and hit him straight in the face. He was such a good boy!! When we were done, the last lesson was finishing up. Ceci grabbed the rider, a little 5 year old girl recovering from leukemia and threw her up on Andy's back. We walked him back over the bridges with her up and he only balked once and we talked him through it.

I"m always totally filthy when I come home from there. Dirt, dust, hay, horse slobber, horse drool down my back but the neat thing is I don't care. It feels good to get so dirty and so tired and I revel in it. Now I know women aren't supposed to like getting dirty, but this dirt is unique. I feel like I have actually accomplished something in my life on the days I do this and the dirt is my trophy, my badge of honor, whatever you want to call it. One of my best friends has recently told me that I need to find at least one trophy a day to put on my mantle. Something that was good out of the day and made me feel valuable and needed and special..well, today, my trophy is Braveheart!!

BORED BEYOND BELIEF

ok, its 5 pm friday afternoon, I actually got off of work 30 minutes early and I am already totally bored beyond belief. at least at the moment I think its boredom!! what's a single person supposed to do on a Friday nite, alone. Not into bar hopping or anything of that nature, could always go leach some company off a friend, if they didn't already have plans or go to the show by myself but whats the fun in that. when do I finally get to be comfortable in my own skin and enjoy my own company without climbing the walls and wanting to run screaming from the building...lol!! I should clean house, do the laundry, yardwork, all the stuff that a "responsible" adult would do when they got home from work, but not today. I"m so bored with that, a little fun would be great, so, how do I do that? why am I so afraid to spend quality time with myself and do something just for me? are most people like this? or do we keep ourselves so busy that we don't take the time to notice the caged up, let me out, I wanna play part of us.......I think our stress levels would decrease drastically if we took some time to just play...now don't panic, that doesn't mean you have to grab a bucket and shovel and go play in a sand box, or, well, actually it could, if thats what the kid in you really wanted to do and you took the time to let them. wouldn't that be a site, grown men in 3 piece suites on their hands and knees in a sand box, building castles and moats and knocking them down and starting over again. can you imagine how much happier people would be if they let themselves have a little fun now and then, what a different world it would be. see, I'm rambling again, now you know why I call this place Robn8trs Ramblings. Pups are out back doing what pups do, guess I better check on them, cuz they are kinda quiet and we all know what happens when the "kids" get quiet and we know they aren't sleeping.....

Fear of Man

Why are we as people so afraid of each other, well, besides the obvious...we have a tendency to hurt each other. But why do we really care what other people think about us or what we do? Does it really make a difference?

A friend of mine says fear of man does nothing more than make us sick. Yeah, he's right..so how do we get past it? When do we know that we've stopped being afraid of what man thinks and only care about what God really thinks about us? Can we ever really get there in our humanness? Yes, I'm full of questions tonite, get over it! Oh wait, was that rude, maybe I need to rephrase that...see what I mean...we worry so much about impressing others or making sure we don't rock the boat or offend someone that we are never truly real with ourselves or the people that we choose to be in a relationship with. If we can't be real with ourselves, how can we be real with other people and most importantly...how can we be real with God?

I've lived in denial for so long that somewhere along the way, the person that God intended me to be got lost. So much bad stuff happens in life and it molds us and changes us and we get sidetracked and sometimes really really lost (yea, I know, english teachers are having heart failure because of my grammar tonite). Nobody died from it so I"m not too worried about it...or am I?

Why is it so much easier to believe all the bad things a person says about us? Rejection, worthlessness, feeling lower than the slime on a slugs belly...why do we believe this over and above when someone says hey, you are really a great person. Sometimes life just seems so backwards.

Not sure why I'm rambling about this tonite except for the fact that I am speaking in church on Sunday and I am terrified. Some people know some of the things from my past, but I"ve never really told the whole story and now I"m gonna tell it to 200 or so people...oi vey...what was I thinking? What if I say something the wrong way or what if an offcolor word slips out or I offend somebody..what if I bomb the song that I"m singing and why does any of this really matter when I'm doing what God has told me to do. I should be doing this for Him and Him alone and let him worry about the impact of my words on people (not that I"m intentionally going to do anything wrong, just wanted to clarify that). Its not my job to change people's hearts, its just my job to be obedient to what God has told me to do, right?

Anyhoo, life goes on, the pups are sleeping and I should be too......

Chaos at the ranch

Once again we find ourselves "Doggie Sitting"...my kids just love it, at least I think they do. New butt to sniff, newcome to intimidate, someone else they can steal a bone from and another reason to suck up to "mom" for more attention....they are such a jealous lot. Miss Josey is spending the weekend with us all the way from the Mount of Olives, technically thats this little town not too far from here called Mt Olive. She took on the pack one at a time, poor old Riley, got his nose bit twice cause he just wouldn't leave her alone. Oi, its gonna be a long weekend, but it will be fun.

Passed my radiology exam, can you see me glowing in the dark yet? Better yet, would you trust me to light up your pup or kitty?? oooh, time will tell. I'll be done in November...at least I better be or I won't get my certificate. What I'm gonna do with it besides hang it on the wall, I don't know yet..still waiting on God to show me.

Feeling a little weird tonite, its Thursday, why not?! Getting kinda nervous about Sunday. I"m gonna be talking Sunday at church, oooo, aaaaa, can you hear the excitement as the crowd roars....or throws rotten tomatos. maybe I better wear old clothes :o)

An amazing thing about life is that you have a friend who suddenly becomes a really great friend, a friend that you never expected to have, that gets everything about you and someone you don't have to tell them everything...they just kinda see it. Its cool to get a chance to see yourself thru someone else's eye's. God has blessed me this week with such a friend and I will be forever greatful for that relationship.

still trying to find myself...have you seen me lately? if so, tell me to call home, will ya! still doesn't seem right that I'm almost 40, how'd that happen? I don't feel almost 40, more like 10 or 12 or occasionally 20

well thats enough chaos for one evening, tune in next week for another episode of Robn8trs Rambles....ooh aah feel the excitement!!

Hey All

This is my first attempt at blogging so bear with me. I"m sure it will be a lovely confusing journey thru the chaos that I like to call my life...but at least it won't be boring!!

Thought I had my "midlife" crisis at 30, but now with 40 coming up quick...oi vey!! Shouldn't my life be settled by now, family, career, know what I wanna be when I grow up..? You know, all the basics. Well, it ain't so and I think I"m more confused about life than ever, well, somedays. Other days I feel like I've got my act together and I'm on the move in the right direction. Who knows but God. It would be nice if He'd drop a hint once in a while just to let me know I'm going in the right direction. Of course, maybe He is doing that and I"m just to blind to see it.

Work takes up most of my time, which is good because I hate being bored. Then I have school part time and the pups..well, they aren't really pups anymore. Riley is getting old, really old. He'll be 15 in a couple months..somedays he gets around really good and other days he kinda just stares right thru you, like he doesn't even know you are there. He's a good boy and has been for long time...now, if I could just get him to remember that he was housebroken once upon a time...life would be good. Shadow, well, Shadow is a mystery all her own. Thrown from a vehicle at an early age, she was terrified of most everybody, except me. 5 years ago you better not be male and try to walk in my house, you'd think she was gonna eat you alive. Been working a long time with her, abuse does funny things to the mind, whether you are an animal or a human. She's my "big" dog, weighing in at 127lbs so she can be rather intimidating if she's not happy. Its amazing how helping a helpless animal heal can help you heal your own battered and torn heart. She doesn't meet everybody at the door with a growl anymore, usually she backs up and hides behind me..wagging her tail. We've actually seen great improvement just in the last couple of months...she's actually let several visitors touch her and pet her and she's gone back and begged them to do it again. So there is hope for the hopeless in this life. Even though she is a huge animal, she thinks she is a chihuahua and always wants to curl up in my lap. It amazes me how animals are so forgiving..after everything she's been thru, she's still willing to give people a chance and openly love them. I wonder if the human heart is ever so resilient. My third pup is a mystery to me. Bear is a cockapoo/sheepdog mix or something of that nature..not quite sure who daddy was. She's almost 3 but still all puppy. She reminds me of a cutting horse the way she zooms around the back yard and stops on a dime and switches direction. I've had her since she was 6 weeks old and she's never been mistreated that I"m aware of. She is the jumpiest animal I've ever know, you move to quick and she jumps right out of her skin. She's my barker, drives me nuts...doesn't help make friends with the neighbors either. Oh, well, she's getting better..still got aways to go.

Oh, what do you do with a father that needs to get his own life and is driving you nuts!!!! any suggestions.....??